not letting family hold newborn

Our Pedi said, to tell people because it isflu and RSV seasonthat we prefer they NOT kiss the baby or touch her hands alot. In fact, a newborn's immune system isn't considered to have adequate function until 2 months old! Dec 13, 2016 at 3:17 PM. You also acknowledge that owing to the limited nature of communication possible on However, know that, especially when illnesses are circulating, people are unlikely to be offended if you ask them to respect your wishes and keep a certain distance from your baby. Their baby their rules. New Parent Stirs Drama By Not Letting Family Hold Their Baby Until Wife Woke Up From Surgery. Required fields are marked *. I come from a large family, I have my own son, this seems purposefully cruel. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. You can obtain a copy of the Simple yet common rules for our baby we thought. The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023, The 45 Best Gifts for New Parents of 2023, Promising Pfizer RSV Vaccine for Pregnancy May Protect Newborns. Arriving unannounced. Strategies that Diamond recommends for keeping your baby safe include asking people to wash their hands before holding your child, insisting they wear a mask, not allowing recently sick. 3. Were very close with our families, and we wanted them nearby. Those super small onesies. Some parents will be more than happy to hand off the baby for a while. Try not to expose your newborn (less than one month of age) to more people than necessary, and avoid all people with infectious diseases like colds and the flu! If you take your baby outside of your home, insist that others near you wear a mask. Visiting boundaries is a rather sensitive topic as no new parent wants to offend the people who want to be a part of the celebration of the birth of their precious child. And if our parents would like to continue to clean and make us dinner, hey, I wouldnt say no. As eager as grandparents may be to get acquainted with their newborn grandchild, they should understand that it is equally important to get off on the right foot with the new parents. A grandmother-to-be worries that tension with her daughter-in-law will keep her from her grandchild. When I got pregnant, MIL made a request to be the first person to hold my son after he's born. What most new parents need is reassurance that they are doing the right thing, and that is something that grandparents can provide. A post on Mumsnet . Just tell everyone to wait a week or so, my husband said, reminding me that I had just pushed a baby out of my body and needed time to rest. Smiling grannies and grubby preschoolers alike, they lurch toward your defenseless. posts, comments and submissions available. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); The stories you care about, delivered daily. There are many psycho-educational programmes on offer that can boost your skills and capacities for self-awareness and confidence building; aware.ie and grow.ie are two. If Grandma wants to kiss, direct her to the delicious little toes instead. Dr. Karp also advises having a stack of oversized tee shirts that guests can wear over their own clothing to hold the baby. Grandparents who respect new parents' decisions are likely to see their access to grandchildren expanded, while those who do not may find that access continues to be limited. Today's mothers live in a fairly different world. The moment the nurses placed her on my chest, my entire world changed. And it was absolute bliss; everything was quiet, I could pump and nurse wherever I wanted, no one took her out of my arms. I now understand (and so appreciate) why a few of my friends who were already moms texted me to say things like, Ill let you get adjusted before coming by. Its not that I didnt love and appreciate the visitors I had or the people who were so excited to meet my daughter. Household Safety: Preventing Suffocation. After what has felt like an absolute eternity to everyone else (and probably you, too), youve finally welcomed your newborn baby. Everyone we know understands. You should do your own symptom screening to ensure that everyone who plans to visit the baby feels well, says Dr. Schaffner. June 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!! Moms with newborns - not letting people hold your baby? Being 3 months old, your baby will very soon become more active and easier to play with. Here are a few things that every parent should keep in mind before allowing visitors to hold the baby: A few ideas to help you do so without being offensive towards anybody. I missed my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. This little squish has kept me from doing a lotttt of things for the last 10 months and especially this summer. When Can You Let Visitors Hold Your Newborn Baby? Good nourishment and hydration are important after birth. If Covid has taught us anything, according to Dr. Schaffner, its that outdoor gatherings (when possible) are somewhat safer than indoor meetings, where everyone might be breathing in the same stale, stagnant air. Should you let them? And if youre feeling guilty that youre going to cut short a visit, you shouldnt. Some expectant parents say that they aren't taking hospital visitors. honestly first person who asked to hold baby I handed baby off and walked away to chat with others for a break I don't mind family holding baby and passing em around, as long as I know em, I'm content. Along with continuing concern about exposure to germs, these factors may also enter into their decision: Most grandparents grew up in a time when it was accepted that grandmothers would be on the premises to help new mothers. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. should not be construed as a substitute for advice from a medical professional or health care provider. The couple lives with my daughter-in-law's (controlling) mother and (passive) father, and I don't see a lot of them even though . I don't mind family holding baby. Keep your baby at least 6 feet away from people not in your household. In cases like this, it is best to have some rules in place for what is allowed when visitors are around your baby. One reason is that newborn babies are not tuned into day and night yet. The most important step when carrying or holding your newborn is to support your baby's head and neck at all times. Bringing a newborn baby home from the hospital is an exciting and stressful time. As the weeks went by, I started to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal. and RollingNews.ie unless otherwise stated. But I felt a strange sense of obligation; I started setting dates with everyone for when they could visit. Police leading the search for a missing two-month-old baby have sought an extension of 36 hours to continue questioning their parents. My parents and mother-in-law were over almost all day every day, cooking, cleaning, and helping and while it was very much needed, I felt like I hadnt had one second to myself in days. Belly hold. DH: testicular cancer survivor!! For more information on cookies please refer to our cookies 383. So, it is wise to be to limit who you let touch your newborn, says Dr. Ahmed. your doctor. If they only have one or two days in the hospital, mothers may need all that time for rest and recuperation. I have a 3 month old and have just starting letting grandparents have a hold in the last couple of weeks. Nobody smokes. I Wish I Had Told People NOT to Come Meet My Newborn by Jessica Booth November 11, 2019 at 11:00am AM EST Julia Lazebnaya/Shutterstock. Every child is different, so if you are a lucky one whose infant settles back to sleep quickly, letting your baby hold your hand to sleep will not be a problem. Breast milk is the ideal food for babies with rare exceptions. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide who gets to touch your newbornand even who gets to be close enough to breath on them. While it was exciting at first, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed. When I think about when I had my twin girls, it would have been extremely difficult . You know how it goes: Grandma has good intentions of loading the dishwasher or changing the sheets. Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby? [1] Mariana Sifrit contracted viral meningitis . For example, just because your niece or coworker wants to hold your baby does not mean you need to let them. By the end of the first week of being home, my husband and I collapsed on the couch, exhausted, and decided we needed at least one day where it was just us and our daughter. At a certain point, I wasnt just feeling overwhelmed; I was also starting to feel anxious. Try stroking your newborn gently when you change a nappy or at bath time. My son and his wife are expecting a baby boy in two weeks the first grandchild on either side of the family. If you are a visiting grandparent, offer to stay in a hotel when you visit. Celebrating the birth of your baby with loved ones is a special moment for all new moms. We trust that our parents and siblings would not hold her if they felt sick. Grandparents may not understand such decisions, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of motives. http://s1187.photobucket.com/albums/z393/LindsayLooWho/?action=view. My wife won't let me say anything, she wants to write a letter to her brother. Reasons Why Parents May Prevent Grandparents From Seeing a Newborn. fever of 100.4 or more, they have to go to the hospital & get a Some people are being understanding, others are not. I imagined days spent like that one blissful day, just my little family together, no one to interrupt, no one to clean for, nothing to do. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible for user created content, posts, comments, Make sure they wash their hands before touching or holding your baby and that they are fully vaccinated, especially against circulating diseases and illnesses like flu or COVID-19. This really hurt my wife and her mother, especially since her mother doesn't have a car and we had to drive her to/from the hospital/home, which was like a 2 hour roundtrip. around. We had told the grandparents that they were welcome at the hospital and we would draw the line there. Sometimes maternal grandparents have more access to a new baby than paternal grandparents, but it can be just the opposite. What the mother and child need is peace. Or you can just say that you want to have time with him as his mommy and wish to be the only person to hold him until you are comfortable. Come over to the Jan/Feb boards and you can see numerous parents of babies who were taken to the ER and admitted to the NICU because they got RSV in their first two months. Keep doing what you are doing and dont feel bad about making excuses. Flu. Its just that those first few weeks are such a precious time, especially as a brand-new parent. Forget uncle/aunt stuff.we are talking grandparents. When parents ban grandparents from visiting, usually it is to allow the new family to bond without any complicating factors. Many times when I wanted to take her back people would tell me "but she's not crying." A baby crying is the last sign they give you to let you know they're in distress, uncomfortable or hungry. to risk! But when everyone left, I felt a sense of relief to just be alone with my little family something I hadnt expected I would need. 2. Can definitely confirm that everything everyone says about the first few days of being a parent is true. Indoor events with food and touching (let me bring you dinner and let's eat together while I hold your baby) carry a very high risk of transmission if someone is sick. For the price of one cup of coffee each week you can help keep paywalls away. And OMG, that heavenly newborn baby smell. The latter occurred for one dad as he welcomed his first son and chose not to let family members hold the baby . Feed your newborn on cue. The parents may not want an audience as they get used to handling and changing their newborn. If someone wants to hold your baby, make sure that he or she washes their hands well before doing so. The days that followed were a whirlwind. Ive heard people say it but never truly understood it and now I do. But it's not a healthy practice: The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) warns against bed-sharing because it increases a baby's risk for SIDS. 20002023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. advertising. 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not letting family hold newborn